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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

My best friend of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we're simply hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I appreciate that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes endeavors lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?